Sixty-somethings T-Shirts

"He hit the big 60 today, and now he's just drooping around the house, convinced that he can hear his arteries hardening."

"Desmond likes to live in the moment. . . and that moment happens to be 1960."

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

Do you think I'm sixty?

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

"The next one is a hard-rockin', kick-ass, take-no-prisoners tune we wrote about turning sixty."

The Mods and Rockers feud had got out of hand

David Blaine, Age 60

"Seventy-five isn't the new anything."

A la recherche des cheveux perdus.

Strange Aftertaste birthday cards.

Life begins at 60

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

"What's happening to us, Bob? We used to be so issue-oriented."

Denise gets offered the senior discount for the first time.

"He can still fit into the clothes he wore in the sixties."

"I put my pants on the same as every other middle-aged person—in constant fear that the button will pop off under pressure."

'Jason and I are absolutely incompatible. We're both going through the menopause.'

"When you talked me into eternal life, you left out the part about menopause."

"Say, Flo, did you make an appointment with a lifestyle counselor?"

"No, actually. 40 is the new 60."

"I've got about 3 more inches before I'm willing to get reading glasses."

Paul McCartney

"For your birthday this year I thought we'd have a pinata."

'The sixties? Well, you don't sleep as well, can't read anything closer than three feet away and your short-term memory's shot.'