Single Malt Enthusiast Pillows

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Join me in a Martini?

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

You said you wanted beer with hops !

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

'Mom, the donut is drinking my milk!'

"A pint for me and one for the woad!"

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

"Whiskey...Leave the bottle."

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

Lightest beer on the market. Carbonated with helium.

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

'The yeast cells are flocculating? - I don't think the kids are ready for that.'

'When I first saw here I thought I'd died and gone to heaven, but not with beer at these prices!'

Beer Lunch

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

'If you don't start feeling better in 24 hours, pour yourself a tall scotch.'

"Is that neat whisky?"

The Angel's Share

'I brew it myself.'

'Actually,I didn't start drinking until his dog died.'

'This low-alcohol beer doesn't taste bad with a scotch in it.'

"You can tatse the slopes, er I mean hops in this."

'Increase your beer volume sales by filling the glasses up.'

You can kiss me later

Take me to your lactator!

"If the energy drink isn't working, try scotch."