Single Malt Enthusiast Pillows

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Join me in a Martini?

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

You said you wanted beer with hops !

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

"Did you remember my mints?"

'Mom, the donut is drinking my milk!'

"A pint for me and one for the woad!"

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

Lightest beer on the market. Carbonated with helium.

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

'I just couldn't wait until eight!'

"Nice try, but I don't think whisky counts as an 'essential medication'."

"Whiskey...Leave the bottle."

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

'The yeast cells are flocculating? - I don't think the kids are ready for that.'

'If you don't start feeling better in 24 hours, pour yourself a tall scotch.'

'Actually,I didn't start drinking until his dog died.'

Beer Lunch

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

'This low-alcohol beer doesn't taste bad with a scotch in it.'

"Is that neat whisky?"

'I brew it myself.'

'When I first saw here I thought I'd died and gone to heaven, but not with beer at these prices!'

The Angel's Share

"You can tatse the slopes, er I mean hops in this."

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

You can kiss me later

"Scotch and water, *hic* scotch and water..."

"Yes, I'm the Cowardly Lion, and I want a double shot of single malt courage for the Yellow Brick Road."