Singer With A Twist Mugs

"She gets her musical ability from me."

Ball as water-melon.

"I broncobust and I Dust-Bust. You got a problem with that?"

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

'Pink isn't EITHER the new black!'

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

Covid Music

No Instruments Please

Champagne at the hunt

Off Off Off Off Broadway

Early Morning Roll Call.

Fairy tales reimagined for the 21st century. Jack and the Beanstalk

'School of secondary sex characteristics'

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

"You heard your mother. There's no need to bless the superfoods."

Matador Artificial Insemination.

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

'Yes, we're trying to re-introduce some of the more traditional breeds.'

'I hate the new vicar's cheese and wine parties.'

'I don't leave until I've heard all 25 songs.'

"Didn't anyone tell you this is the private juice bar of the Health's Angels?"

'I'm not going to bore you with a long sermon to-day - here's one I recorded earlier...'

"Hello, San Antonio - are you ready to rock in a fiscally responsible way?"

Finish Line

"I'd prefer this to a gold watch any day."

"Relax - not only does the devil have the best tunes, he's also got a great lawyer."

"They're love poems alright, but he cuts up the lines, throws them in the air and reassembles them randomly..."

'Hey, thanks for comin' out tonight. All these songs are from our new album, which was inspired by a recent trip to the grocery store...'

"Congratulations, you've passed."

Sled Dogs Instead Of City Bikes

"Oh, we're just here for the party."

20 years as Stamp Club Chaorman and they send my retirement card by E-MAIL.

'A metal plate in your head does not qualify as a helmet.'

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"Here's one I wrote about not being able to come up with one of those 'Here's One I Wrote About' songs."