Simulation Theorist Gifts

"At least this supports my theory that we live in a computer simulation."

"Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy?" "Well… every waking moment I wish I were living before the beginning of existence itself. So I could witness the Big Bang." "It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline." "That way I could know for sure whether our universe is all just one big simulation running on some geek's computer." "I mean, everything being made up of atoms and math is

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

"I think someone's trying to play games with us."

'In the computer simulation he said he admired my candor and gave me a raise.'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

Davos.

How Trickle Down Economics Work

Basketball Tourney. Ernie, you're crushing everybody in the office basketball pool! You've picked the winner of every game so far! It's amazing because you don't know a thing about basketball. For you, picking the winner of every tournament game is like correctly guessing a coin flip sixty seven times in a row! No, I have a system! It seems everybody has an opinion about the tourney so I listened to what my investment advisor thought about the teams. And with his record of picking winners

'When the music stops, sit down in the nearest chair. Whoever doesn't get a chair is redundant.'

'Maybe it's me, but I have a feeling we're being used as pawns.'

'The bad news is you have a disease that only a highly-paid specialist can pronounce.'

'Then it's agreed - we all keep our arms raised until someone blinks.'

'The driving on that game is simulated, but the road rage is real.'

No Strike Zone Man.

'Rock beats scissors, sanctions it is!'

Peel as the Knave of Spades

Footballer plays in labyrinth.

Chess boxing

'Although we've vanquished the invaders from Paperland, we really should have allied with them for the impending attack on us by Rockland!'

'It stands for, 'Rock, Paper, Scissors'.'

If chess allowed gerrymandering.

'Let's play school. I'll be the principal and you be the teacher, or you be the principal and I'll be the superintendent.'

"When I say 'tweet' you say 'tweet'...'tweet!'"

mars is flat.

Scranton the Ride

How to win the Lottery. - Scratch 'n' read edition.

"Jenkins, I've turned your job into customer self service."

"And in this one you can join the 'mile high' club"

"I know I've asked this before, but are you sure it's 'paper cuts scissors'?"

'Third Life'

"If marriage is so great how come you never hear about simulated marriage?"

"I call it, 'wheel'. I spin it, drop this pebble, and if you don't guess where it stops, I take your stuff."

Virtual reality platform.

Train ride simulator.