Silver Spooner Pillows

'It's a shame you didn't get to use all those little blue pills before Ted died.'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"I don't know who you are!"

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

Kiss the Commander in Chef

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin surfing Mendocino. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore?"

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

International Monetary Conference in Paris- Silver Currency an Unsound Footing

Pensioners run riot on mobility scooters.

You're certain you've had plenty of experience serving in a fine dining restaurant?

"Mom, what kind of soup do we eat when we're sick?"

"How do I know if it's fresh?... You asked for 'the soup of the day'. You didn't specify what day."

"While you're at it, can you do something with him? He can't remember a thing!"

'When you've finished the washing up and you're certain you've cleaned absolutely everything... you'll always find another teaspoon.'

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

Holiday Overkill.

"A foot bath after a long hard day at work is really nice!"

"It's still stew but the celebrity chef wants to call it a deconstructed steak and ale pie with a dusting of salt in a brown sauce coulis."

Yuri Geller as a 7 year old.

"My famous chicken soup! The secret ingredient is the rum."

I can be upgraded, can you?

Wife doing Internet banking & Online shopping, saying 'Darling, I'm just collecting my pension. Is there anything we need from the shops?'

"Here's Bill now. I'm not sure where he's been, but I'm guessing it was the Sour Beer Festival."

'I'll teach that social security computer a few things!'

'As a gastroenterologist, what would you take for this soup?'

"Look, Honey! No teeth!"

Screenior citizen

'He became an enthusiastic silver surger when he discovered there are nude ladies on the internet.'

"That's just the meds kicking in."

Gardening for Beginners

Somehow, she knew she'd fooled nobody.

"That's right, sir, you did book a table for four but you didn't say anything about chairs."