Silly Sausage Fan Pillows

Silly sausages

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

Man cooking a single sausage on a very large barbeque.

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Beware of Falling Notice.

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"I lettered in spelling."

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

"Well, it's been nice. And obviously the £10 million win hasn't change you. . . . A mug of tea an' a couple garibaldies - as tight as ever!"

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

Alarmistclock

Safety Barriers

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

'A HAMBURGER?.. really?.. I took you for the WEENIE type!'

'Boy, am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

"You cheap shit! Why can't we have a designer divorce?"

"Talk to me. You have wounds. I have salt."

"Really Mum? Natural selection gave us short arms to stop us from picking our noses?"

'The kidnappers want 500.000,- Euros for the boss. I offered them 600.000,- Euro to keep him.'

Sausages!

I've founded my own religion. Of course you have, Rudy. It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths. If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted. What are the central tenets of your religion? A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation.

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

Where Summer Sausage Comes From...

A bill poster pasting up a wanted poster of himself.

Pig tails connected. Title: 'Where Sausage Links Begin'

'Doors opening.' - 'Doors closing.' - 'Doors bored now.'

"I'd like to take a few minutes to make a series of promises I have no intention of keeping."

"Why'd the chicken cross the road?"

Waiter thinks drowning man is asking for 5 beers

Dog begging for a sausage

"Can I call you back? We're having our favorite argument."

It was the easy listening that the free range sausages seemed to find most soothing.