Silly Sausage Fan Pillows

Silly sausages

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

Man cooking a single sausage on a very large barbeque.

Beware of Falling Notice.

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"I lettered in spelling."

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

"Well, it's been nice. And obviously the £10 million win hasn't change you. . . . A mug of tea an' a couple garibaldies - as tight as ever!"

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

Alarmistclock

'A HAMBURGER?.. really?.. I took you for the WEENIE type!'

"You cheap shit! Why can't we have a designer divorce?"

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

Safety Barriers

'Boy, am I going to be pleased when the pregnancy is over...'

"Talk to me. You have wounds. I have salt."

"Really Mum? Natural selection gave us short arms to stop us from picking our noses?"

'The kidnappers want 500.000,- Euros for the boss. I offered them 600.000,- Euro to keep him.'

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

"I'd like to take a few minutes to make a series of promises I have no intention of keeping."

Waiter thinks drowning man is asking for 5 beers

A bill poster pasting up a wanted poster of himself.

Pig tails connected. Title: 'Where Sausage Links Begin'

Dog begging for a sausage

'Doors opening.' - 'Doors closing.' - 'Doors bored now.'

"Why'd the chicken cross the road?"

"Can I call you back? We're having our favorite argument."

It was the easy listening that the free range sausages seemed to find most soothing.

'No, we can't issue restraining orders to dogs.'