Silly Pun Lover Gifts

'Fancy doing a Motorway this weekend?'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

Peach flirting with a banana.

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"

"Think about the honey."

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

A Brain Drain

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

No, that's "Virginia Wolf" with one "o."

'And in conclusion...'

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

"You always said nothing would ever come between us."

Literate Dogs.

Hotness

'You tell me you're a sexual athlete and your first time at bat you strike out!'

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

'I collect a different type of oil painting.'

'You give me goose bumps!'

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

The static electric eel is very rare.

Larry's Literary Market.

Hell's Schlegel

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'