Silicon Valley Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Pre-silicon Capitalism to see you."

"National security adviser"

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

"Just one more site!" "I'm totally, like, in control!" "I can quit anytime I feel like it..."

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

So I guess the moral of Hansel and Gretel is always carry your cell phone!

Honey remember what I said about feeding the birds.

'I don't like to take chances.'

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

Internet.

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

'Mom! This high resolution screen makes it seem like you're really outdoors!'

"Well what does the GPS say?"

'Dad! Dad! Dad!!. . . We lost our signal.'

The Evolution Of Man.

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

Magnet School. A "magnet school"? Won't that mess up the computers?

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

Nerdy man wagging his finger.

"Tommy? Hi, this is daddy. How's my big boy? Sweetie, daddy needs your help."

The paperless office sign covered in post-it notes

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

"I neeeeeeed neeeeeeed neeeeeeed my iPhone!"

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

Technological Dependence.

"He says he's sure this isn't Wildwood. Did you put batteries in the GPS?"

"Don't blame me for the grade, blame Google's algorithms."

'You know, you can do this all online now.'

'I'm pretty sure I have a Ph.D. I think one came bundled with my new computer.'

"Do you know Lincoln's Gettysburg Address?"

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

"Honey, this is serious, we need to text."

"When I was your age, I had to ride fifteen miles on a little stationary bike while disco lights flashed and E.D.M. played in the background."