Signal Geek Pillows

"Try S instead of L."

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

Elfie Stick

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

"There appears to be a flaw in our cloaking technology."

"'Original' to 'Carbon-Paper': Do you copy?"

Twitter censorship

'If I wasn't meant to destroy the world, God wouldn't have created me with atomic blasters instead of hands.'

"In the spirit of co-operation, peace and friendship with the people of Earth, we welcome Captain Zork and his incredible advanced weapons technology..."

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

"Keep heart Rexy boy... even if we strike out, we'll look damn good doing it."

'Okay I admit it - we probably do need a rocket scientist.'

'I told you to keep your rice in a plastic bag.'

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

"I am using my GPS, but I spilled coffee on it which is why I'm really lost."

Caveman Wheel Invention Version 2.0

"If God had intended us to fly in jets, He would have seen to it that the Wright Brothers invented jets."

Thomas Edison's brother Wilmer...couldn't even figure out how to turn on the light.

Workplace Confidentiality.

'Sorry, Professor Kleinzweck -- your 'Chaos Theory' program just crashed.'

"So how exactly am I supposed to give a self-driving car a ticket?"

Traffic Offence Selfie

Mars Rover

"The new technology means we can watch our shares fall on four different continents."

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

'I think I caught one of those fish showing on the graph.'

No Carrot Sign (like the old 'no radio' signs).

'Hey Josh! This is the Grim Reaper calling. No really! I'm using all the new technologies now and, so sad, your minutes on earth - well, they're up!'

'Oh, this is just great... Now how am I going to get a Wi-Fi connection?'

"Pictographs or it didn't happen."