Sight-seeking Sailor Pillows

'Of course I know how to read the water, but I my glasses fell overboard.'

Faster, Georges, faster!

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

"I neeeeeeed neeeeeeed neeeeeeed my iPhone!"

"Yeah, I have a GPS, but I have no idea where 120 degrees longitude and 80 degrees latitude is."

"Thar be an Hallowe'easter a blowin'."

A writer goes sailing.

"We're luckier than most people..."

'How do I know if it's seaworthy?'

"I'd like to report this stowaway I discovered two weeks ago, Captain."

"The only problem with working for a pirate is that we tend to only sail in the Caribbeans: It gets boring after a while..."

Hydrofoil wing boat.

A giant hand reaches for a swimming woman

"Large destroyer on the horizon, captain."

'Sam's not really a seafaring man but he can yo-ho-ho with the best of them.'

'Instead of being stranded on this island for the next 10 years, I used my pocket knife to build a boat out of palm trees. I told you my woodworking skills would pay off.'

"Don't stare at his massive claw. . . don't stare at his massive claw. . ."

"F**k me! I didn’t know there was an app for that!"

"Turn 15 degrees Leo... Oh, sorry. Wrong chart."

UFO Romance

Once the contact lens was properly rinsed and replaced in Roger's eye, the hunt resumed.

'Like clockwork: As soon as the whale-watching boat arrives, Bruce leaps out of the water! What a show off...'

"I want to exercise my right to Rome."

'We've got to cut the rope. The anchor is caught on something.'

"Good, I can feel a slight breeze..."

Row to Row

Sid the squid was an expert escapologist!

Whale Viewing Point

'That should do the trick.'

"Sorry about your boat. Who do I see about personal injury compensation?"

If you would be willing to take a short survey at the end of this call, press "1". If you would like to risk being punished for not taking the survey by being kept on hold for an extra 10 minutes, press "2."

"Is this the sign in for the ophthalmology convention?"

They were ALL texting.

"Look, if you must go down to the seas again, to the lonely seas and sky, then go!But take your BlackBerry."

'Did I mention the sea views?'