Sick Day Comedians Pillows

'Give me a break, will you? I didn't ask to go home sick, did I?'

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

"Here's the deal, throw me back and I won't text your boss telling him you called in sick to fish."

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

'Another sick note from your employer !'

'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'

"He's never had a day off work through illness. He always stretches it to a week!"

'Can't come in to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty bug.'

"Asides from today's wind-chill factor, what else might you consider all your parents' fault?"

"You better take Teddy's temperature too....he was awfully sick this morning!"

'Have you heard of the Phrase,'Survival of the fittest'?' 'Uh-ho!'

'Tell the doctor that I'm too sick to see him.'

'He used to be my tiger, now he's nothing more than a skunk, a boar and a lying toad.'

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

'If you have a toothache, take the day off, you would be useless at work anyway...'

"How am I? I'm just trying to et over the flu in time for allergy season."

"I don't think I'm going to be in today, I got a bit wrecked at the weekend."

"I've lost my voice. Is it contagious?"

'So, are we going for a walk or what?'

"I forgot to call in dead."

'I'm still pretty unwell, I'm not sure if I'll be in the office tomorrow.'

'I'm sorry, Mr. Harris is not here. In fact nobody's here. I think it's a staff infection!'

'I couldn't decide what to wear to work so I just didn't go.'

I can't come in today. I haven't got chronic diarrhoea!

Woman watches TV wrapped up in warm clothing.

Go home and take your cold with you.

'Take ten days off work.'

'Mr. Breeding won't be in today - so you people at the office have fun.'

"Walt won't be at work today - he's flipped on his back!"

'If I work at home and I'm sick, do I have to go to the office?'

Song Parody on cold weather.

"It's not the flu. I got a very bad case of tired blood."

"It's your work. Are you still sick or what?"