Sibling Dealing With Legal Issues Pillows

"Your divorce lawyer has impeccable credentials Mitzi, but have you met mine? Presenting...Giganticus!"

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

At the Museum

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'Hey Einstein, how about converting some of your mass into energy and getting this place cleaned up?'

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

Likes: $2.

Boy and Bear and Monster

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

Toy plane with pilot eject.

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

'They're dog roses!'

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

'Nope. I didn't see any dogfish.'

'Rock.' - 'Paper.' - 'Boris.'

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

"First snowman?"

"You can build it with me, but you can't wreck it with me."

"It's an Eyesaur."

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

Magnet School. A "magnet school"? Won't that mess up the computers?

"He'll never grow out of it. It's made of rubber."

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

"I don't care if you saw this in a western..."

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

Childlike love

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'