Showstopper Seeker T-Shirts

Ladies, welcome to Palais des Beefcakes. A super sexy all-male revue. Our first performer is a legend – the hunkiest he-man in the Americas. So give it up for … oh my … It can't be … Senor Stud! Pop!

"Thank you! And now for my finale, I shall produce a magician from the hat."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

Boom

Woman crying with happiness.

"Do you realize that you and I have it in our power to cause quite a brouhaha?'

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

'Barry I think it's time you had your eyes checked!'

Arch of Triumph Save

I think I need new glasses. I swear I just saw a tiny man jump off your bridge.

'I told you I'd make you a star.'

Chess on TV

Fan-Centric Stadium

'6 One-Act Plays By 6 World Leaders'

Don't put your daughter on the stage Mrs Worthington.

"Oh, don't mind us. We boo everybody."

'Your performance review is next Tuesday. You're allowed to bring a guitar and up to three backup singers.'

'You said to come back once I got my act together.'

"Thanks to my new glasses, I can enjoy a good old "bird's eye view" again..."

'Mind if I wear it to the door? I want to test audience reaction.'

I didn't dress this way to go unnoticed

Super Bowl 2012: The NFL finds a way to appease displaced ticket holders.

"This is a cover of a song that was perfect in its original form. Apologies in advance."

"He should get a Nobel prize for thinking he'll get a Nobel prize."

"I've been working exclusively on my core."

"This one's for me."

Matador.

"As fans we are smart enough to understand the game, but not smart enough to realize how unimportant it really is."

"Tonight's performance has been canceled, because the star of our show has decided that musicals are stupid."

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

Big circus elephant balancing on one foot

"You're gonna love this guy's act. He's, like, 'not funny, funny, not funny.'"

"And so it begins... Now where'd I put my dang glasses..."

'...and, if I don't get a place, I'll kill myself.'