Showjumping T-Shirts

Jockey trying to push a horse over a jump.

Harvey Smith.

Trojan Hurdler.

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

Woman crying with happiness.

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

Toenail clipping missile.

Hollywood producer.

'Man it's a tough crowd tonight!'

'I'm a star!'

"Take my advice; speak softly but carry a big shtick."

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

TV stage door

TV Situations vacant.

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

Vaudeville producers audition a singing Canada goose.

"Er. . . anything else?"

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

"Fashion Week"

High Jump

'I don't mind playing dead. But what I would really like to do is direct.'

'We've decided to babysit for you, while you go out to a late-night show.'

Stage producer.

No Talent Agency

Don't put your daughter on the stage Mrs Worthington.

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

'Your performance review is next Tuesday. You're allowed to bring a guitar and up to three backup singers.'

'It's a new reality show about a reality show producer...'

'You said to come back once I got my act together.'