Shower Strategist Pillows

'I take a cold shower every morning... right after my daughters have taken hot ones.'

"I took 30 showers today, so I'm good for the month."

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

An idea box in a shower

Shower curtain call.

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

Rutger Shower

The Consequences of an Interrupted Shower.

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

I've got a new theory, Randy, and it's going to shock the world. Why? Because it's pretty much irrefutable. You know how when you're in the bathroom, it feels like five minutes have passed … but to those waiting to use it, it feels like forever? Yes … And you know how when you're at the event horizon of a black hole, five minutes to you actually is forever to the rest of the universe? ... I think we'd better alert Neil Degrasse Tyson. I call it the Time Toilation Theory.

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

'That's my dad. He does his best work in the bathroom.'

"Hey Rudy, you've been in there for over an hour. You OK in there?" "I think I'm dying here." "What? D'you need me to call 911?" "I don't think that'll help." "I just need to build more pikemen and cavalry and buy a defense boost before the enemy's march reaches my city." "Get off your phone!!!" "I'm saving a kingdom here! It's important!"

"I do my best thinking in the shower... do I need to run 5 miles a day in order to take one?"

My Musical Influences

"I have to admit, Donald is a little possessive."

"Mom said to put her on your 'Don't bother me I'm taking a bath' list!"

'Is it labor day already?'

'I thought you got the hot water system fixed - these are HAILSTONES!'

The creek ran dry. The reservoir drained. Lake Erie just emptied. Ok! Ok! I've finished my shower.

I realized I do my best thinking in the shower.

'Swimwear taketh away. Footwear giveth back.'

'Martha, my battleship sank.'

A dog locks a man out and sleeps in his bed.

'Our motto is, 'We'll do anything to sell a car!' but he really means it.'

Where Earl Gets His Ideas

Wash and Let My People Go

"The water was too hot."

"Here's a money-saving tip."

"You have no idea what I've been through."

It's almost like you WANT to be send to the showers.

Climbing into the bathtub