Showbiz Veteran T-Shirts

Now in its 27th year - Sirens with Original Cast.

Showbiz Awards

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

Music Hall Dancers

'I'm a star!'

Remember . . . If at first you do succeed, make sequels!'

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

"Is it 'Measure once, cut twice?' Or 'Cut once, then measure?' Or maybe it's..."

Giorgio A. Tsoukalos - Ancient Aliens

Toenail clipping missile.

"An appointment? Let's see... She could fit you in before breakfast TV, or after lunch on Radio Two, or between Radio Four afternoon and the Drive Home SHow..."

'What a strange episode -- they just voted Ricardo Montalban off the island!'

Men discussing a book on a chat show

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

Animal Actors

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

"You can stop any time, sir. I've already told you I'm not wearing a body camera!"

Boarway Show

West End Shows closing - box office piled high with boxes.

'I don't mind playing dead. But what I would really like to do is direct.'

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

"Looks like Broadway's back."

'You showbiz types can never make intelligent conversation!'

Live the Dream!

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

'You have the right to remain silent. . .'

"In this business the ball takes funny bounces. I got you a recording contract."

"When the boss says jump, I say how high."