Showbiz Aspirant T-Shirts

'You're a magician, Mr. Scully?'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

Come on! They're posting the spring musical. I can't wait! I want a romantic part! With and elegant gown. Good luck with that! We're doing "Cats."

Mr. K's essay is such a drag! Yeah, but I've got to do really well. Twig! You're such a grind! Am not! Life isn't only about grades. I know! But he's directing the spring musical. And my singing won't get me the part all by itself! English: Gateway to the Grammys.

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

"Nobody at school will laugh at me."

Directors chairs on movie set with Model, Actress, and Whatever on them

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Top Ten Hit

"Er. . . anything else?"

'I told you I'd make you a star.'

"This area is popular with would-be actresses and models,we call it 'Silicon Implants'."

'Man it's a tough crowd tonight!'

I'm trying out for the spring play. You'll be great! Ha! You'll be grateful to be an usher, Meryl Creep. Yeah. The good parts go to real actors. Sigh. The arts are sooo uplifting.

"I'm not sure I'd want fifteen minutes of fame. Mum would only follow it with fifteen minutes of criticism."

'Here's looking at you, kid...'

Dog picturing himself on stage.

"If you work hard enough, and find the right reality show, you can grow up to be anything you want."

"I promised myself I would never let this happen to me."

'So, did I get the job?'

"Great news, babe. I'm on the fall schedule."

'I was only famous for 14 and a half minutes.'

'That should be an easy act to follow.'

"My parents are nice, school's going well, and I'm basically a good kid. Unfortunately, there's no money or fame in being normal."

Always stick to the script.

"I consider it an honor just to be sitting with someone who's thinking of becoming an actress."

Spin Dentistry...'Hollywood, here I come...'

Street musician: 'Opening in VEGAS next week'.

Waiting to be discovered, or taken to work, whichever comes first...

"I like you kid, but you're really just a work in progress!"

'Jeff! You need to keep one foot on the ground!'

The Don't-Quit-Your-Day-Job Comedic Revue

Ventriloquism for Dummies.