Reality Star Aspirant T-Shirts

"You have no experience, skills or talent. I'm afraif we can only place you on a reality TV show, which will lead to wealth and fame."

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

Directors chairs on movie set with Model, Actress, and Whatever on them

"When I grow up I'd like to model for a pasta company."

"I feel proud of the success I've made, thanks for all your support."

TV-Mirror.

Sammi and her 'partner' decide to have their child baptized at a Suuuuper-inclusive church

"I'm not sure I'd want fifteen minutes of fame. Mum would only follow it with fifteen minutes of criticism."

"I'll bet a lot of people wish they had a royal palace to return to."

"This area is popular with would-be actresses and models,we call it 'Silicon Implants'."

'I told you I'd make you a star.'

The changing times of 'fame'.

Celebrity Clerk: Schrodinger's Cat.

'I was only famous for 14 and a half minutes.'

'Buy this house sir, and you could be a star in a DIY make-over programme!'

"If you work hard enough, and find the right reality show, you can grow up to be anything you want."

"this week on, 'Celebrity Fear Factor,' contestants are threatened with total anonymity."

Live water cooler.

"The public's taste in entertainment has certainly changed."

Celebrity Shark Attack.

"My parents are nice, school's going well, and I'm basically a good kid. Unfortunately, there's no money or fame in being normal."

I don't care if you did win the bloody X-Factor. You're dealing with the H-Factor here.

"...till death – or your first reality show – do you part."

'Congratulations on reaching the grand final, how does it feel to be the biggest loser of all time?'

JWoww becomes fascinated with psychedelic therapy after reading 'How to Change Your Mind' by Michael Pollan.

Waiting to be discovered, or taken to work, whichever comes first...

"I know I'm good looking, but am I good looking enough to move to California?"

Housewives meet Top Chef

'It's only a game of Snake and Ladders, Gillian.'

'Someday, you'll be a big star!'