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'Now THAT'S just showing off!'

Showbiz Awards

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"It's true: no more burpees."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Bryan Ferry

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

"Did Melina Mercouri ever get those marbles back to Greece?"

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

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Tom Hanks

David Grohl - Foo Fighters

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

'What? You used a Welshman? The recipe specifically calls for a scot!'

Music Hall Dancers

Cleaner cleaning under the feet of the dancers as they perform

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

Leo McKern

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

Hollywood producer.

"Is it 'Measure once, cut twice?' Or 'Cut once, then measure?' Or maybe it's..."

Harriet Walter

'I'm a star!'

'You did remember the condoms didn't you?'

"You played yourself in your last picture. Everyone found it unconvincing."

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."