Short Trip Strategist Gifts

'I think you might've over-packed. We'll only be gone for an hour.'

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Expense account or regular?"

'Personally - I'm against a four-day school week - I'm for a three-day school week. . .'

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

Armchair quarterback/Armchair everything

City Travel...rat race special! 10 countries in 10 day: 'I need a vacation'!

Putting out on the green is called 'The Short Game'.

'I spy with my little intelligence gathering app...'

Excess Baggage: Forcing your homebody spouse to accompany you on a business trip is generally not a great idea.

National Academy of Short Selling.

'I went in to get my mortgage renewed. I said: 'Make it for eight months and four days!'. . . Am I only the one who thinks the world ends in December?'

"Dad's trying to work out the car charging points for our Christmas visits."

"If you'd bullshitted your work like the rest of us, you'd be home by now."

'You and your shortcuts.'

'I've already seen this movie. Can you pull up behind another van to se what movie they're watching?'

Woman emptying 'pending' work into bin as 5pm approaches on Friday.

Temp Agency Personnel. Where do you see yourself in five weeks?

'We don't need our own stand. Just have your mom buy all the lemons at the store so we've cornered the market and can name our price!'

"I schedule all my vacations around work. When the going gets tough, I get going."

Boy holding power doesn't want to share.

'What if I want to stop? Where's the pause button?'

'I'm not turning you out. It's just that I'm taking my vacation, as cat naps in half hour increments, over several months.'

"Gracie, remember how you wanted me to go on that school field trip tomorrow...and I said I was too busy? Well, my appointment has been canceled, so I can go!"

Excess Baggage: Check the prices of the items in the hotel mini-bar before treating yourself to a feast.

Heading of with a packed bag

Sockit2u Foot Fashion! We'd like some plain athletic socks. High-cut, low-cut, bootie or quarter socks? White, black, red, blue or striped? New! Nascar. Moisture management, extra-cushioned or abrasion-resistant? Who needs all these choices? The 6-pack of white, water-wicking quarter socks. We have sock soap in mint, spice or seafoam.

'The perfect week for my vacation. Enough work to insure I'll be missed, but not so much that I'll be overwhelmed in my post-vacation funk.'

The World Will End... After Labor Day

Airlines à la Carte

"Where can I go for this much?"

Admit it, you've grown soft from doing all your shopping on the internet. Soft? I'm efficient. In minutes, I can buy more than you can buy in a whole afternoon at the mall. Maybe. But you can't survive the mall. You can't handle the crowds, the decision-making, the impulse-buy situations. You couldn't even handle … Careful. The electronics department! You'd fold. You'd buy the wrong thing and have to exchange it and lack the courage to return to the jungle! You watch your mouth, lady! Anyhow, it

Starter's Blocks.