Short Talk Lover T-Shirts

'Thanks to his brilliant conversation techniques, Bob had the shortest calls.'

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

"Can you hurry up with that will? I don't have all day."

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

"He'd make a wonderful main character for a short story, but I wouldn't put up with him for an entire novel."

How to Do Small Talk??!!

Silly News.

"But I haven't finished explaining about dollar-cost-averaging." "Sorry, I didn't register for this course."

Develop Your Social Skills: Asking Questions is a Great Way to Keep a Conversation Going.

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

Cartoons showing a speaker, with a teddy bear projected on a screen behind them. The speaker says: "welcome to my TED talk."

Hi. How's it goin'? Good, you? 'Sup. Hey. Hello. The Primordial Schmooze.

"I grew up in St Louis and went to school in New Jersey and have been in Brooklyn ever-since, but sure, I guess technically I'm 'from' the Black Lagoon."

'All that smoking has stunted your growth.'

Friendly Fire: 'Good to see you, Geoff. . . wife and kids ok? How's the garden looking this summer? You're sacked!'

'Hello! I don't believe I've bored you yet...'

"He's surprisingly good at small talk."

"I saw the guy who cut me off on the highway get pulled over by a police officer!"

I've seen an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes. What on earth are you talking about, little buddy? I watched more than 80 movies last night on Hulu, for free. Are you talking about trailers? When it shows the beginning, middle and end, it's a movie.

'If I don't love you, Susan, why'd I call you during anytime minutes instead of night and weekend minutes?'

"I'm good thanks."

'Would you be offended if I ate you?'

"Did we tell you? Debbie's going to be on 'Car Talk.'"

'I forgot who I'm supposed to talk to and why.'

"What a lovely little dog. What's his name?"

"I'm the eldest of three, yet I'm a highly social, under-achieving risk taker. Try and explain that!"

You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! Ebola. Should I really be this freaked out about it? I mean, more Americans have been married to Angelina Jolie than have died of Ebola. You should be TERRIFIED! It LIQUIFIES YOUR ORGANS! It's so EASY TO CATCH, too, if a symptomatic Ebola patient throws up on you and you don't notice in time to wash it off before you rub your eyes. Ratings gold! If I stay tuned, will you update me on all the developments?

Conversation Topics and Guidelines Approved for this Area...

Heading of with a packed bag

In his speeches, the shortest distance between two points is about forty-five minutes. (Published originally August 16, 2007.)

Woman asks: 'And what do you do?' Man's placard reads: 'I'm in advertising.'

'Remember, our hosts are from a swing state, so no political babble or they may snap!'

"Won't anybody say anything?"

"Now that I've learned to talk I can't think of anything to say."