Shopping With A Scholarly Twist Gifts

"Does it say I'm a Wittgenstein scholar?"

Cut Price

A women in a shoeshop.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"I shop, therefore I am."

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

"Where can I find the lefts?"

Only One Item or Fewer.

A young couple selects items from a shop.

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

"If at first you don't succeed, buy, buy again."

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

Customer Convention

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

'Do you have this in a smaller size?'

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

"I'll try them on at home. You can just return what doesn't fit."

Last Chance for Everything.

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

Self-Checkout.

"Hey, I just got a burst of consumer confidence- let's go buy something."

Irregulars

'But I think shopping three times a week is more than enough exercise!'

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

'In the war against full price, we are winning...'

"Come back to bed. You know sleep deprivation lowers your sales resistance."

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'They call them gifts, but they make you pay for them.'

"You're just in time for our 'post Christmas, pre Autumn alternate Tuesday in August late season Sale!'"