Shopping With A Scholarly Twist Gifts

"Does it say I'm a Wittgenstein scholar?"

Cut Price

A women in a shoeshop.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

"Where can I find the lefts?"

A young couple selects items from a shop.

Only One Item or Fewer.

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Customer Convention

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

"If at first you don't succeed, buy, buy again."

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

'Do you have this in a smaller size?'

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

Self-Checkout.

Last Chance for Everything.

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

"I'll try them on at home. You can just return what doesn't fit."

"Hey, I just got a burst of consumer confidence- let's go buy something."

Irregulars

'But I think shopping three times a week is more than enough exercise!'

"Come back to bed. You know sleep deprivation lowers your sales resistance."

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'In the war against full price, we are winning...'

"I can't get the price sticker off this non stick pan, you sold me!"

"You're just in time for our 'post Christmas, pre Autumn alternate Tuesday in August late season Sale!'"

'They call them gifts, but they make you pay for them.'