Shopping Maven Gifts

"Richard and I are planning on taking some time off just to enjoy our purchases."

"December 29, 1991: Janet sacrifices months of self esteem therapy for the perfect New Year's Eve dress." "It's called an 'Everest' gown because it would be a monumental task to squeeze that mountain you call an ass into it."

Woman with pair of new shoes: 'But darling, I HAD to get them, it was buy one get one free!'

The day the stock market went UP.

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

6 Quarantine-Friendly Fashions

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Apples for sale

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

Guy has framed 'first Yuan'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

"#Win!"

Creative department

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"Absolutely not!"

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

"I'm not happy about what the economists are predicting."

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

European currency on the edge.

Made in China

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

A woman with a novel and poetry handbag.