Shopping List Strategist Gifts

Inattention while stacking cans.

Dog adds Parma ham sausages to his owner's shopping list.

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

Only One Item or Fewer.

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'I've got it written down...'

Supermarket Merge

'Man, I've bought heaps on my credit card this month...It always amazes me...How many things I'd rather have than money.'

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

Artificial Isle

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

'But what do you sell?'

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

"You want to go shopping in Lisbon? Honey, give me 10 seconds to sign the order to invade Portugal!"

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"

'Our definition of a 'bargain' is right there in the small print.'

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

'Do you sell eggs? . . . I forgot to say that I have middle class guilt. . .'