Shopping Dilemmas T-Shirts

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

Only One Item or Fewer.

Seven deadly sins shopping plaza

He only had enough money for one, and for the life of him he couldn't remember the difference,

"You might say I'm middle-of-the-road. I'd buy a fur coat but I wouldn't buy a Japanese fur coat."

Down on Her.

'Turn we women loose in the malls - that'll stimulate the economy.'

'I'm sure they make it up in volume.'

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

Cash Rebate

"Waiter - there's no fly in my soup!"

Seven deadly sins store

"Relax sir, I'm sure chef barely remembers you posting a negative review online."

"I think I'll just leave a hate tip."

"I often think of the 'Hereafter'. When I'm shopping I'm always asking myself 'What am I here after?'"

'What do you sugget for a couple of fuddyduddies who love hot and spicy, but have to eat bland?'

"I put my pants on the same as every other middle-aged person—in constant fear that the button will pop off under pressure."

'What's this about the food tasting funny?'

'Water? Still? Sparkling? Mountain? Hill? Bottle? Tap? Warm? Cold? Ice? Lemon?'

End Of Consumer Confidence Sale

Shopper reading Shopenhauer in bookshop

'Midnight Galas, dinner at the Captain's table, the Swinging Singles Bar, exotic tropical nights... if I may say so, Miss Winslow... this cruise is you!'

"We save all the original packaging in case we have to return something."

Coming soon: The Garden of Eden Shopping Center.

"Would you like to pay with card, cash or the dim and shredded remains of my remaining dreams?"

"Happy Easter!"

'No Wallmart...No Target...No mall...How can you call this paradise?'

Supermarket - 'Buy One, Get 5kg Of Packaging Free'

"I'm not investing a penny into the high street!"

'It's been raining all day. There's nothing to do.'

"We're closed!"

"So, order in or go out?"

"I'm looking for something special that says 'Meow.'"

'Smoking or nonsmoking? Hormone therapy or nonhormone therapy section?'