Shopping Bag Acrobat Gifts

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

'Man, I've bought heaps on my credit card this month...It always amazes me...How many things I'd rather have than money.'

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

Gymnast's Commute

"It's the first week of school and already I have a 10-page report due tomorrow!"

"This isn't bad. Ten per cent all A's."

Man clothes shopping with wife sees signs for Women's Changing Rooms and Men's Stress Counsellor

'Clever, Fenwick

Writer

'I went window shopping today. I came home with four double glazed units!'

Final clearance sale.

"I want my ashes scattered over Bergdorf's."

"But I actually wanted something specific...!"

Flea market

'How long you in for?'

Ah ha! Surgeons remove shopping trolley from patient.

"Today, class, I'm proud to announce my tenure."

"A good employee never stops learning new skills."

'OK, good. I just wanted to be sure you were still on top of it.'

"What really would be fun is if eBay had some department stores we could go to."

The Flea Circus.

'Where are the jockey shorts?'

Closing a Suitcase

A woman runs a crash test dummy in a shopping cart.

"Are you O.K.? You're barely paying attention to your book, phone, show, laptop, and the crossword you started ten minutes ago."

Insider Information.

'How am I going to pay for all this stuff?'

'My mom said someday I'll grow up and go to college!' 'My mom can burp the alphabet. She learned how in college!'

"Go Boxing Day shopping if you want...you couldn't drag me to that mall today!"

"Attention, shoppers. We have another lost husband at the customer service counter."

'And the Mannies goes to . . . Dan Danielson for successfully carrying 17 bags of groceries in one trip.'

"He's a new bagger from the supermarket. He's really conscientious!"