Shopping Bag Acrobat Gifts

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

'Man, I've bought heaps on my credit card this month...It always amazes me...How many things I'd rather have than money.'

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

Gymnast's Commute

"It's the first week of school and already I have a 10-page report due tomorrow!"

Man clothes shopping with wife sees signs for Women's Changing Rooms and Men's Stress Counsellor

"This isn't bad. Ten per cent all A's."

Writer

Final clearance sale.

'I went window shopping today. I came home with four double glazed units!'

'Clever, Fenwick

"I want my ashes scattered over Bergdorf's."

"But I actually wanted something specific...!"

Ah ha! Surgeons remove shopping trolley from patient.

I used to swing from chandeliers. Now I move as quickly as possible from restroom to restroom.

'How long you in for?'

Flea market

"Today, class, I'm proud to announce my tenure."

"A good employee never stops learning new skills."

'OK, good. I just wanted to be sure you were still on top of it.'

Closing a Suitcase

"What really would be fun is if eBay had some department stores we could go to."

'Where are the jockey shorts?'

The Flea Circus.

A woman runs a crash test dummy in a shopping cart.

"Are you O.K.? You're barely paying attention to your book, phone, show, laptop, and the crossword you started ten minutes ago."

Insider Information.

'My mom said someday I'll grow up and go to college!' 'My mom can burp the alphabet. She learned how in college!'

'How am I going to pay for all this stuff?'

"Go Boxing Day shopping if you want...you couldn't drag me to that mall today!"

"Attention, shoppers. We have another lost husband at the customer service counter."

'You bought WHAT on eBay?'

'And the Mannies goes to . . . Dan Danielson for successfully carrying 17 bags of groceries in one trip.'

"He's a new bagger from the supermarket. He's really conscientious!"