Shopper Of The Absurd Pillows

This one is broken...I've been stuck here for hours.

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

"Now you can send it."

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

They get into debt so fast these days...

Bird in a chair with a human in a cage.

Operation.

UFO and snowman

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

Baseball.

Seven deadly sins shopping plaza

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

'When he drinks too much he starts eating bollocks.'

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

Minefield! Thank you for treading carefully.

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

"How much is the sign?"

'How do I know if it's seaworthy?'

''Tough crowd in tonight!''

Trapeze artists commuting

A patient, a doctor and a deep sea diver

The Bonvoy Age...

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

A sign outside the "Museum of Modern Gift Items" reads "T-shirts of the Masters Sale".

"Is there any way we could describe this bit of old tart that would make a Russian oligarch pay £2 million for it?"

"Frankly I'm a bit confused. According to the genetic printout this gentleman is, in fact, a goat

A headless man puts up a poster for his lost head.

Albert should have known that cactuses rarely have change. Besides, they prefer jazz.

'You're too fussy - the coffee isn't THAT bad!'

"I was going to call you but I remembered I left some empty oxygen canisters on Mt. Everest."