Shopaholic Spouse Pillows

"Oh, I don't mind. I've negotiated three trips to the mall for each one of these."

"I shop, therefore I am."

Imported Candy. "Chocolate Australian Bears"? Yes --- "Coca-Koalas"!

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

Customer Convention

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

"I must come to the supermarket with you sometime dear, they seem to sell everything!"

"Hey, I just got a burst of consumer confidence- let's go buy something."

'I went to see a personal shopper this afternoon. . . I thought I'd surprise you!'

"What kind of bra are you looking for?"

"I've been window-shopping..."

"We've been milked all day at the office. Now we girls deserve a little R&R."

It would be hours before Jack realized that his wife was not being kinky but had, in fact, gone shopping.

I don't think we should have linked the remote to the credit card.

Mall Ahead - Be prepared to shop.

Clothes sale - everything must go!

'They're doing their tests now?

Sale today - 50% off everything!

Had a Moonlight Madness Sale During an Eclipse.

Shopping Torture

Complaints (just kidding).

'It was an impulse buy Mary. At 75 percent off in the New Year sale AND free home delivery. . .'

Twenty-first century baby walker

"Wait, Daddy! I'm that window’s target audience!"

"I balance my manic compulsive buying with manic buyer's remorse."

"She used to shop until she dropped, but with online shopping, we lost that protection."

I brake for all 50 off Sales.

'Me too-thought I'd better splash out before my plastic expires tomorrow!'

"I'm in a purchasing mood, but I don't know if I feel like goods or services."

Serious Competition: Thingymajigs vs Watchamacallits.

"We save all the original packaging in case we have to return something."

Childcrap

Pushy Cashpoint

''Swiper's Wrist.' I'm prescribing 7 to 10 days of 'Cash Purchases only.'

'Where's your dog food section, please?'