Shopaholic Spouse Pillows

"Oh, I don't mind. I've negotiated three trips to the mall for each one of these."

"I shop, therefore I am."

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

Customer Convention

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

"I must come to the supermarket with you sometime dear, they seem to sell everything!"

"Hey, I just got a burst of consumer confidence- let's go buy something."

'I went to see a personal shopper this afternoon. . . I thought I'd surprise you!'

"I've been window-shopping..."

"What kind of bra are you looking for?"

It would be hours before Jack realized that his wife was not being kinky but had, in fact, gone shopping.

"We've been milked all day at the office. Now we girls deserve a little R&R."

I don't think we should have linked the remote to the credit card.

Had a Moonlight Madness Sale During an Eclipse.

Shopping Torture

Mall Ahead - Be prepared to shop.

'They're doing their tests now?

Sale today - 50% off everything!

Clothes sale - everything must go!

"I balance my manic compulsive buying with manic buyer's remorse."

'It was an impulse buy Mary. At 75 percent off in the New Year sale AND free home delivery. . .'

Complaints (just kidding).

Twenty-first century baby walker

I brake for all 50 off Sales.

"She used to shop until she dropped, but with online shopping, we lost that protection."

'Me too-thought I'd better splash out before my plastic expires tomorrow!'

"Wait, Daddy! I'm that window’s target audience!"

"I'm in a purchasing mood, but I don't know if I feel like goods or services."

Serious Competition: Thingymajigs vs Watchamacallits.

Childcrap

Pushy Cashpoint

''Swiper's Wrist.' I'm prescribing 7 to 10 days of 'Cash Purchases only.'

"We save all the original packaging in case we have to return something."

'Where's your dog food section, please?'

"I went to the grocery store, but nothing looked good."