Shooting Range Instructor T-Shirts

"So, how was your day at work, Dear?"

"You gotta hold onto those things fellas. Gun control. We need gun control."

"I warned you about the recoil on that one."

"Looks like your rock cakes are a big hit this year, dear...."

Posh man taking his dog clay pigeon shooting

My army drill instructors license plate is HUP-2-3-4.

"I'm using a silencer!"

"Bullets seem like overkill. What if I shot him with staples?"

'Watch it, I'm a black belt.'

Stun-gun target practice.

"For extra protection, this one is armed with a tiny gun of its own."

Military ardour.

'Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!'

'Did you let go of the wrong piece again?'

'I don't know if I could really do that to a man.'

"Imagine an accident at 60mph..." "It would be like being hit by a 60 ton elephant."

Military Parades

The Karate Master

"I can't heeear you!"

'Completed the pyramid, eh? Now take it down to the ground.'

'Mr Thurber, come at me like you're going to sexually harass me!'

'Kicks a little.'

'I said.. how long were you a DRILL INSTRUCTOR, SIR?'

'Welcome to boot camp. You'll be staying in hut two-three-four.'

Before There Was Pepper Spray

Think hard soldier! When I threw the practice grenade, did you hear me say 'fetch'?

"Since the cracked down on gun licences there's some bleedin awful shots about!"

A Verbal Difficulty

So you think you can march.

"Neither one of us wants any trouble."

Passages in the Life of a Volunteer

'Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!'

'So, how was your day at work, dear?'

"He's not moving. I think he's dead already."