Shoe Shopping Skeptic Gifts

Man's Heaven Versus Hell

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

"Do you do much walking?"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

Support Group for high heels abandoned during the pandemic

"Buying me a new pair of shoes would go a long way toward making this world a less dangerous place."

'... And for $50 more, this is the same basketball shoe in a turbo model.'

Tee-Hee-Bay - XXXL shoes.

'A mind is a terrible thing to make up.'

"Nothing is ever in my size either."

'What do you mean I have to buy both of them?! What kind of a business are you running?'

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

"I just adore these shoes! The clicking of staccato heels is so empowering. . . Do these come in a flat?"

"They are so cute, and anything has to be more comfortable than these. Where did you get them?"

"Do they make my feet look big?"

"She's not the perfect wife, but at least she's not always buying shoes."

"How do those feel? Click them together a few times."

'Something comfortable with good arch support and a cushioned heel. He wants to run away from home.'

'We also have gravity boots in faux cow hide.'

End Of Consumer Confidence Sale

'Honestly darlings I don't know how you can spend so long looking at shoes.'

"So if I'm to understand you correctly, this 'engineered athletic footwear' with its 'extended torsion system' is also a sneaker?"

"No open toes. I have a puppy."

"I think the sign says World's Greatest Chew Treat Store Ever!"

"There's no business like shoe business."

Shoe Outlet

"You got hiking boot in 58?"

Coming soon: The Garden of Eden Shopping Center.

"Ahhh, you're in luck! You got our last 150 pairs in stock."

"Do you have this in a big-and-floppy?"

"Time to reboot our winter wardrobe?"

'Yes, we even have shoe shopping. We just refer to it as 'sole' searching.'

'I don't have it in your size. Is that a problem?'

'No Wallmart...No Target...No mall...How can you call this paradise?'

'This is your global positioning system. Turn right at the next light. The first store on your left has a sale on shoes.'