Shock Therapy Enthusiast Gifts

"We've started him in The Loose Connections Department."

Licensed Therapist

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Postwar is hell."

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

Couples' therapy

X-ray Psychology.

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

'My science project is an experiment in static electricity.'

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

'We have three minutes left.'

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

Shrinks in heaven

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"You need to stop bottling it up."

'On the plus side, I give my thanks this Thanksgiving that I'm not a turkey. On the minus side...'

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

A cartoonist at the doctor, in yoga, at home and in therapy