Shelving Sage Gifts

'Well, go and browse somewhere else!'

Library. The Shakespeare volume is out of alphabetical order. Put it in the correct spot. To this own shelf be true!

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

Dog stretching before a walk.

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

One way only.

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'

Business man sees himself as a shark

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

A wiser and a better man

"Looks like the high tech shares have taken another fall."

'It's the Mesolithic Age? - But I just got used to the PALEOlithic!'

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

Trusting

'What did the fund manager say to the investment advisor?'

"Sure your portfolio has taken a hit, but if you stay in the market for the long haul you'll be fine."

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"There's everything you need to know about exercise in here." "Is there an osteopath's phone number in there?"

'Huh...I just got this sudden, uncontrollable urge to invent spoken language.'

'It was pretty crazy around here that day.'

'Of course, for me, Christmas has a deeply felt religious significance! The stock exchange is my church...!

"Hunters turned philosophers"

"We found a new virus. . . which affects stock portfolios."

'Stop gritting your teeth!'

The Return of Guarded Optimism

"Why can't they call it a 'Deer' or a 'Squirrel' market?"

Downward-facing dog vs upward-looking cat.

A fortune cookie for investors.

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