Shelving Sage Gifts

'Well, go and browse somewhere else!'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

Dog stretching before a walk.

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

One way only.

Business man sees himself as a shark

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

'It's the Mesolithic Age? - But I just got used to the PALEOlithic!'

"Looks like the high tech shares have taken another fall."

A wiser and a better man

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

"Sure your portfolio has taken a hit, but if you stay in the market for the long haul you'll be fine."

'What did the fund manager say to the investment advisor?'

Trusting

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"There's everything you need to know about exercise in here." "Is there an osteopath's phone number in there?"

'It was pretty crazy around here that day.'

'Huh...I just got this sudden, uncontrollable urge to invent spoken language.'

'Of course, for me, Christmas has a deeply felt religious significance! The stock exchange is my church...!

'Stop gritting your teeth!'

"We found a new virus. . . which affects stock portfolios."

"Hunters turned philosophers"

The Return of Guarded Optimism

"Why can't they call it a 'Deer' or a 'Squirrel' market?"

A fortune cookie for investors.

Customers Wanted

The Stock Market and Personal Income.

"You know how I feel about sampling!"