Shell Whisperer Pillows

But if you make his pearls for him, he'll never learn to make them himself.

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

Man listening to seashell: 'Oh, Rub-ber Ducky, you're the one ...'

Turtle Hat

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

Spindle Neurons

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

'This seashell does not sound like the ocean... It sounds like someone yelling 'Look out!''

'Choose, Fenster

He doesn't howl at the moon. He prefers to howl into the void.

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

Business man sees himself as a shark

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

"I'll check and see if he's available."

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

"Trust me, come low tide everyone will want these seats."

'Astronomy I, Astronomy II, Astronomy III'

"So, what are you doing after whale-watching season?"

"Ok, you were right – dogs can see ghosts."

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

"The sellers recommended that I burn some sage during the tour."

"I'm getting your dear, departed husband—he can't believe you paid forty-five dollars for this."

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

'...and where did you bury the bone?'

"Any beaver can cut down trees, but marquetry, now that's art."