Shelf Wanderer Gifts

'Get in lane now' at library.

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

Multi-Generational Books

Surfing kangaroo #2 Ruck sack.

"I'm after the history section."

'Why am I not surprised that this section is always the most disorganized?'

Mysteries.

Man sees book flying in the Mystery section.

'I just read 'Moby Dick'...do you have anymore 'whale hate' literature?'

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'Dealing with Stress, Cooking for Forty and Nightmare Families. Christmas reading?'

"I'd just like to congratulate you on how skillfully you've hidden my novel!"

"Hmmm?!"

'Iambic tetrameter? Isn't that one of those conditions that's now an official disease?'

Other Fiction

Mall Ahead - Be prepared to shop.

"I'm looking for a book on how to raise kids easily, but I can't seem to find it anywhere..."

'Why do you need an alarm clock'

"My jacket blurbs used to have such conviction, he thought to himself wistfully."

"By the time I've read all the nutrition and ingredients information I've lost my appetite!"

Crime

Dummy no. 5836 was found lying in a pool of his own fake vomit.

Spirituality.

Women in grocery store contemplates high and low calories.

A woman in glasses

Bookshop Adventure

Werehouses.

'Got anything on happy marriages?'

"'50 Shades of Grey?' - Oh you mean the 'Guide to Modern Music...'"

'No, I'm NOT break dancing.'

'Self-help books for cynics'

"Today is catch-your-own day."

Fiction/Non Fiction/A Toss Up.

Car dealer's sign: If you kick the tires, you've bought it!