Sheep Whisperer Pillows

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

Shall we go into the pen? Or stay here and annoy him for another 10 minutes?

'Just once I'd like a solo.'

"I had my coat made into a sweater."

"The rest of the flock and I feel you're displaying a lack of sensitivity with those 'muttonchops'."

'Aside from a crazed sheep now and then, this is a very risk-free profession.'

'Abandon Sheep.'

'That's true...but so are the worms.'

"It's my side rustle."

'I thought you said you'd done this before.'

'I said - we can't even cover our ears!'

"What should I say this is about?"

'I do wish she wouldn't be such a human.'

'Remember! There's no EWE in TEAMWORK!'

"The farmer has checked the weather forecast: there's a cold-front coming, so as a courtesy to you all, he's postponed the shearing..."

"Why do you continue to make that ridiculous noise, when you know we have an adequate grasp of the English language. . .?"

'The wool is virgin - it's none of your damn business about the sheep!'

'Nothing helps! If I count sheep, the first one has enterotoxemia...'

What's the best way of removing wool from your teeth?

"I majored in sheep with a minor in cat herding."

'I never did a pregnancy exam on a ewe before.'

'Sheep-dogs give me the creeps: I can't tell if they're watching me or not...'

'Ok, they want a year's supply of meal, no more shearing, just trimming and our own barn. But until then, this camera and the pictures of your 'date with Daisy' stay with me.'

Hiker/Traveller laughing at sheep when on their backs ends up on his back.

The young Shepherd was determined to show the flock who was the boss!

"He spoils them."

"You were right Mum, I did the survey of all the animals on the farm: 95% are female!"

"I guess it must be the all-grass diet..."

"Just a trim and tidy-up, please."

"Hey girls, remember the traffic jam yesterday when we were changing paddocks? Front page today!"

'I know it seems harsh, son. But golf is a disease. We've got to cull the infected ones from the flock before it spreads.'

Extreme Sheepherding

"I'm afraid I can't help you. I'm from New Zealand, and all I know is sheep."

"It's a working lunch."

"Yeah, and the new job lets me work from home."