Sharpener Sage Gifts

Joust Sharpener

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

"Lovely dovetail."

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

Business man sees himself as a shark

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

"You know what burns me up? I deliberately kept my life uneventful, and I got old anyway."

"Sure your portfolio has taken a hit, but if you stay in the market for the long haul you'll be fine."

The chip - Loyal worker, tireless teacher, friend

'This course is a great ego builder.'

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

'Was this eye of newt locally sourced?'

'Maybe I'm not a failure — maybe I'm just a late bloomer!'

'Wow, a sixty-four arrow quiver with built-in sharpener! I'm so jealous.' (First day at archery school.)

"It's not just his rapier wit that intimidates."

Strategic Metals and Non-Strategic Metals.

hand sanitizer and hand santa-tizer

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

Oog is good at sharpening sticks, but he doesn't know when to stop. You can quit now, Oog. You've made your point.

'Your Dell went to hell.'

I imagine at your age, you attend a lot of funerals, Sadie. Oh, yes, they're quite lovely. As a child, I attended birthday parties. As a lass, I attended sweet sixteens. As a young adult, I attended weddings. As a mature woman, I attended retirement parties. Now, in the twilight of life, I attend funerals. "Deathday" parties, if you will. And it's beautiful. Because it's all come full circle? Because for once, I don't have to buy the %$&*@ a gift.

'Hey, I just noticed something. So you know what you get if you cover the 'c' in potato chips? Potato hips, isn't that funny?'

"You tell him it needs more salt, I'm not telling him!"

'I just love the change of seasons.'

Bacteria Special Offer

"A door can never have too many hinges."

Young boy talking about shaving

"I think you've crossed the line, Alphonse, from seasoning to herbal medicine."

"O, that we could harness this wisdom."

Culinary School. Just taste it to check the seasoning --- You don't need to proofread you alphabet soup.

Wash your hands

"Do not chase the tail, for the tail is already yours."

"Yes, we have a salt substitute. That would be pepper."