Shamrock Seeker Pillows

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

"Bigfoot"

Hermit Crabapple Tree

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

"The boys at Jack's Bait & Tackle will never believe this one!"

St. Patricks Day Shamrock Outfit

Silver Fox

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

"No guarantees, right?"

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."

Real Estate Personals

'It's grossed over a billion dollars. Let's go see the Titanic wreck.'

"What I mean is what do you do with yourself all day?"

'Why can't you collect shells like the other kids?'

Ant holds up the word 'TRIUMPH'.

"The legend is true. Bigger Foot exists."

"Cheer up Skip - worse things happen at sea..."

'Music hath charms,' &c.

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.

Myths and Other Urban Legends

"The downside of living in the wild is that I need to shear myself now. Boy, do I now appreciate the skill professional shearers have: it's hard!"

'Good morning Miss...'

"Are you willing to relocate?"

"Everybody's just a teensy bit in love with me. How about yourself?"

'What's the night life-like?

They're nice, but they lack the charm of an older home

"You have no idea how refreshing it is to meet someone raffish in West Hartford."

"Ever since I got married women find me attractive."

"No, I don't recycle."

"That's way out of my price range..."

"Time to go, guys-It's been real…!"

be my valentine

"Crisp, elegant, and well-balanced. Not the wine, you."