Shaker Aficionado Gifts

Blue Blazer Cocktail.

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

"Dad, Dad, cage divers! Get the hacksaw and let's scare the heck out of them!"

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

'You go ahead and eat. I'm on a raw food diet and surfer isn't part of it.'

"I'll have a man overboard!"

'I think he wants you to play ball!'

'And get this: just when I thought the worst was over, the media blasts me for 'opportunistic, predatory business tactics!' Boy, did THAT sting!'

"Little Jamie would like you both to know that he's now into sharks."

"In this company, Simmons, we hold our hands steady in the middle and shake our bodies."

"Scotch and water, *hic* scotch and water..."

"So I said 'Hey, not everybody likes jokes about shark-fin soup.' And? Oh, he apologized right away. Good! That was super-insensitive. No kidding! That's exactly what I said before I ate him."

"They're the closest I've come to owning a car!"

'Water is a valuable good and we should use it sparingly. That's why I'd like my Scotch straight.'

'Trainers for actually playing sport in.'

"I decided to go on land after I got the sneaker deal."

'According to the breathalyser, you're 50,000 glasses of sherry over the legal limit.'

Divers attache BITE ME sign to companion's oxygen tanks.

"So many acquisitions lately ... should we be worried?"

'It must be love if your sneakers melted!'

'I teach history specializing in swashbuckling.'

'Man eater?! No way, it was just a nibble!'

"Of course, ladies and gentlemen, the optimum endorsement would be from the Crips and the Bloods."

I add 1,000 steps every day just going back to my car to get the mask I was supposed to put on."

Shark Surfing the Waves.

'Something comfortable and yet… unexpected. I like to run amok.'

"What's the problem? Never seen a shark's tooth earing before?"

'Shark fin's soup madam.'

"They gutted the herring, filleted it and stuffed it into a bun with onions?! Man, I love horror movies!"

Shaker Timeouts

"... And that one I tickled to death."