Sewing Stan Pillows

"How was your day?"

I quilt therefore I am

'My mom's the greatest surgeon this side of Mayo brothers.'

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

'Maths is fun!'

"How soon will this be a remnant

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

I love embroidery

Ladies reading a crochet pattern for amusement

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

Heloise's Helpful Hints for Homebound

"Didn't your last blouse fall apart in two days?"

Purple dress

The latest craze in party games: needlepoint charades.

"Tia Carmen, can you make a new dress for my doll?"

Beyond Dante

'My dentist recommended it.'

Blog Breakdown

Sew on a sequin!

101 uses of a dead cat: pincushion

'He agreed that she might have a point.'

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

"I didn't really need to alter this dress. I needed funny pictures for my website."

"Have ye seen a whale that matches this swatch?"

"Sure. I know of a haystack on the edge of town where you'll be safe until the heat dies down."

A tailor measuring a large man

"Is there a seamstress present?"

A man sews broken hearts back together.

Quilt fanatic

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

'Muriel makes all her own clothes out of junk mail.'

'School of secondary sex characteristics'