Settler Pillows

NYer uploaded by mod - "Come look, hon! We just got a new cactus!"

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

The Art Student.

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

Cat says of armadillo, 'It's one of those big armored rats.'

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

"As near as I can figure, we're in the Unpainted Desert!"

"We needn't have a fancy home, just a place to rest when we no longer roam."

In case of emergency, break glass.

A man rakes a tree

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

F&E Stables. Horses Boarded. The owner of this horse is a huge fan of the late musician, "Prince." That explains the purple reins.

Moving in

Mohammad's motors

'Have you had a brazilian?'

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

"Arianna Stassinopoulos Huffington should write a book about you!"

Florist "Say it with cacti"

'I'll take the one on the right.'

Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'

'I've noticed that no matter how busy you are, you are never too busy to stop an talk about how busy you are.'

'Bring me the Wimbish report and a short worm, Ms Perkins, no time for lunch today.'

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

The weightless office.

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

Christmas tree exchange

Full work boxes: 'IN and MORE IN'.

Al, The Go-From Guy

'I'm really thirsty.'

"Ok, maybe a surprise party wasn't the best idea."

You have the flu. Get plenty of rest and avoid lots of fluids.