Service Station Star Gifts

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

Sister Cities

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

'The Human Right Act bans ANY cruel or unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite our ENTIRE customer care policy!'

'What do you recommend?.' 'A big tip.'

Oil shock.

"Nap time."

"Remember when they just used to write the train numbers down?"

The Waiter

A man with a deflated bicycle stands in line at the tire inflator.

"Waiter - there's a fly in my soup."

'Hi, my name's Mandy and I'll be your culturally inappropriate annoyance this evening.'

"I'm having a little difficulty adjusting. The last place I worked was a lot bigger."

"We've found the problem. You folks don't own a car."

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

'You've got to give it to Jim, there's nothing he won't do for his customers.'

"How is it you can commit to world class service but not to me?"

"Thanks for waiting."

"I want three of you serving customers all day - two if we get busy."

Working hard to maintain customer relations

"I can't take the job in customer relations. I hate the customers. How can I possibly deal with their relatives?"

'You mean you want good communication and competent service?'

Coffee shop request for tea in china cup.

"Faux wood grain towel dispensers, matching toilet plunbers, herb scented urinal cakes, where's it all end, Stan?"

Gas Food. To Ernie, "filling station" means just that!

Poor Customer Service

'Maybe complimentary refills wasn't such a good idea.'

Losing Money on Gas.

"Wait a minute - these are just the Ten Commandments of great customer service."

Complaint Department worker. 'Gosh, I'm good at this job!'

'Could I have a table near a waiter, please?'

'I appreciate your enthusiasm in serving me but I never tip more than 15 percent.'

Git It 'N' Git

"I'm in a hurry so I'll have what he's having... go take it from him!"

Oil Cuts.