Service Member Gifts

Veterans Day US

"You weren't kidding, those are just tiny pictures of your grandkids!"

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

'Would you like a balloon with that?'

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

Targets.

"On reflection i think i could have coped with just 340' feedback."

'I owe you an apology, Greffman -- Let's keep it that way.'

'All right, gentlemen, this is the current picture of our growth industry!'

"He's not a big fan of micromanaging."

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

"Gosh, 'inept' seems so harsh. Personally, I prefer the term 'productivity-challenged!'"

Whack, Out of Whack.

'Why, yes, I remember you. May I suggest an undrinkable pinot grigio that goes well with a bad tip?'

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

Saying Grace.

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

A declaration - man tells a girl that she has stolen his heart.

'It's from my staff...make sure it's not carnivorous.'

Friday 5.30pm.

If found, please return to cubicle L-325.

Commando crashes into wall, instead of through window.

'Not for what I'm getting paid!'

What Sisyphus Learned: "When life gets rough, you sure find out who your friends are!"

"This report is replete with errors, distortions and downright lies, yet I find its moral message quite uplifting."