Service Managers Pillows

"So with our new Service Level Agreements our help desk is offering a much faster surly and sarcastic response."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

Or as I prefer to call it, the 'feel-good' factor.

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

Sales chart is buildings in background.

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

Company sales forecast mirrors the weather

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

"This is our soft opening."

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

'It's a senior management position. We need someone who can listen politely, and then say no.'

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

'The recession is over, again.'

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

Business is off the chart.