Service Industry Sympathizer Pillows

"I wanted to make sure you were both happy enough with your life to withstand a major setback with your food."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

'The customer is always right...'

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

'Waiter, there's a drone in my soup.'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

'The beer's not cloudy, the glass is dirty.'

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

'No tipping please.'

"Waiter!"

"Before you speak to the manager, we want to congratulate you on being our one millionth irate customer."

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

'We are not responsible for any coats that might fit a member of staff.'

"I hope you're not expecting a tip."

'Our compliments to the dishwasher.'

'The wine should be done anytime now.'

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

"Relax―all I want is a good table."

"I know it's hard to shift gears coming here from your day job as an editor, but the customers don’t like their drinks watered down."

"Sorry for the delay, sir - the 'catch of the day' turned on us."

Boy cleaning servant's shoes

'Sorry,Sir - we only have the one.'

'Quick, table two have both for their mouths full, ask them how their meal is.'

Use Next Window.

'A table near a waiter please.'

"Hang on hon. A table with a more expensive tab needs me."