Service Aficionado Gifts

'I apologize for repeatedly asking if everything is okay, but displaying customer concern is part of our mission statement.'

Restaurant - 'Waiter! Waiter!'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

Maid.

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."

"Damnit, executive-trainees don't have 'accidents'."

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

'Now this is exactly what I was referring to when I talked about 'scope creep'.'

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

'The customer is always right...'

Businessman has Sterling Sign Shaved in Head.

Welcome to Yellow Pages, Vermont

"To keep prices down, we require you to cook your own food, wait in yourselves and wash your dishes."

"Can you keep a secret, Fred? The truth is, I've never had a clue what curve it is I'm supposed to stay ahead of!"

'What do you mean by, your people do not want to get in touch with my 'kind' of people?'

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

Making The World A Better Place for Giant Multinational Corporations

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

"Dear, it's the financial news. Seat belts fastened, seat backs in upright position."

'What the hell is a win-win situation?'

'Turn up the air conditioning. Panting always puts us at a disadvantage during negotiations.'

"It's our shareholders... They've lost that lovin' feeling."

"The take over has been completed... they are now working on the sell out."

'Hi, my name's Mandy and I'll be your culturally inappropriate annoyance this evening.'

'Now there goes a good Salesman...!'

"I'd recommend this."

Before The Merger.

"Will that be for here or to go?"

'Sale' 'Your money back if we feel like it'

"How dare you accuse me of running this company into the ground!"