Sermon Snack Lover Pillows

"Give us this day our daily bread...and maybe a nice dip to go with it..."

Tartine

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Bowled over again!

Rage.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

Super Heroes.

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"Trail mix?"

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

Love is when you watch television together.

Honest Vending

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

Love is when you watch television together.

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

How The Sausage Is Eaten

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."