Sermon Sipper Pillows

Priest gets coffee from a Rev. Coffee Machine

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

"I forget to drink."

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'We're drinking to our round of golf...one shot at a time.'

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

'Great sermon, Reverend! Too bad my husband couldn't stay awake to hear it.'

The Stumble Inn Bar & Grill

SERMONS 'R' US - everything for the clergy.

"I sympathize with how important it is to you, John... but I simply can't bless your lure!"

"My fellow mantises...I can barely believe this, but it has come to my attention that there is a lack of prayer in this church!"

'Of course my fact-finding tour is legitimate. Can I help if if there are more facts in the Bahamas than Cleveland?'

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

Liquidity Lunch

Credulity, Superstition and Fanaticism.

'Can you recommend something that will make my date sound interesting.'

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

'Those wafers are no good. Why don't they have cookies?'

Corpse Reviver Number 2

Male On Sunday