Sermon Savant T-Shirts

"Look, Mom. A Valentine theme."

Priest and mobile

"Like the boy scouts, Preacher; always prepared."

Felix Mendelssohn

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

"Attendance is up, but they tune out my sermon to play wordle."

Sir Edward Elgar

"I sympathize with how important it is to you, John... but I simply can't bless your lure!"

Poetry repairman

SERMONS 'R' US - everything for the clergy.

Antonin Leopold Dvorak

'Great sermon, Reverend! Too bad my husband couldn't stay awake to hear it.'

"My fellow mantises...I can barely believe this, but it has come to my attention that there is a lack of prayer in this church!"

'Of course my fact-finding tour is legitimate. Can I help if if there are more facts in the Bahamas than Cleveland?'

Credulity, Superstition and Fanaticism.

'Those wafers are no good. Why don't they have cookies?'

'I really can't think of a thing to preach about this morning, so I'll take questions from the floor.'

Male On Sunday

And then a voice came down from the Lord...

Churchwarden Talking to Rector

I'm afraid your hour is up, Al� I'm resume talking you down next week at the usual time.

'No more Mr. Nice Guy...'

Anton Bruckner.

'Good Cholesterol Vs. Bad Cholesterol'

'Before our principal addresses the faculty, there's something important that has to be said.'

'Only way I can get people in on a Sunday.'

"I'll recommend your book if you recommend mine."

"I stopped believing in free will when I had my lawyer write mine."

'I'm not going to bore you with a long sermon to-day - here's one I recorded earlier...'

'Why honest is the best policy...'

"It's not that we consider ourselves holier than others just because we choose to sit in the front row."

"I don't know how he does it. He preaches entire sermons without using the words like, cool or awesome."

Benjamin Britten

Sergei Prokofiev.

'More options!'