Serial Spoiler Gifts

'What's wrong, haven't you heard of Global Warming?'

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

"Spoiler alert."

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

He dies at the end. There, I've spoiled every story ever written. Whether it's a person, a quest, ennui, a dream, a struggle, hope, despair, innocence, cynicism, a romance, a friendship, or an estrangement

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin it for you by saying it was the butler who did it? Such a good book..."

'What're you doing, kid? You keep spoiling my surprise!'

"So if you don't want to know the World Cup results look away now until July 16th."

'The Book of Revelation is full of spoilers.'

Spoiler Alert

"It's a great film. It's quite sad though, they all die in the end!"

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"I had no choice...The idiot was trying to tell me spoilers about the season finale of my favourite soap opera."

"I told you not to tell me how it ends!"

'Not really interested in the meaning of life. I want to know what's going to happen on my soaps?'

"Since you're breaking up with me, I'm giving away the spoilers to that movie you wanted to see."

"Oh no, have you heard about Prince Philip?"

Spoiler alert for "Star Trek: Discovery." Spoiler will be said in 10 … 9 … 8 … What are you doing? 7 … What on earth are you babbling about, you odd, odd cretin? 6 … 5 … 4 … Your countdown is not working, loser. I have no interest in whatever it is you're going to say. None at all. 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... Are spoilers supposed to be given after "1," or after "0"? Tell be what you're counting down to! Tell me!

"Spoiler alert!"

"...I will save you ninnies hudreds of dollars by spoiling every single upcoming superhero movie..."

SPOILER ALERT! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about "Star Wars." You don't have to say "spoiler alert," minion. It's been a month. Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive. In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences. Um ... never mind.

"Spoiler alert!"

A Christmas Carl.

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A misunderstanding between two passengers

"Spoiler alert! It's just Captain Bob's Savor Fish Shreds again."

"Spoiler alert - it's Captain's Savory Fish Shreds again."

"I knew the Titanic would sink, so I told everybody. Then they kicked me out of the cinema."

"I like the way this one ends. She shoots him."

When Tia Carmen says... "It is not only what we do that we are held responsible for, but also for what we do not do." it means...she's writing to the network asking that they not kill off her favorite telenovela character.

"Oh wow, you won't believe what happens at the end!"

'Ugh, I hate when the trailer gives everything away.'

'Will the Buffo cure Gwendolyn's headache? Will it upset her stomach? Tune in to tomorrow's commercial and find out!'

"Don't tell me the ending."

'I know that it's her favourite serial, but I wish your mother would get her own TV repaired.'