Literary Spoiler Gifts

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin it for you by saying it was the butler who did it? Such a good book..."

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

"Any truth to the rumor that your book is ghost-written?"

He dies at the end. There, I've spoiled every story ever written. Whether it's a person, a quest, ennui, a dream, a struggle, hope, despair, innocence, cynicism, a romance, a friendship, or an estrangement

Whodunits

'What're you doing, kid? You keep spoiling my surprise!'

'The Book of Revelation is full of spoilers.'

"Oh, that Jane. I thought you were talking about Jane Austen."

"Clues, Watson? How can I find clues when all I see is germs?"

Spoiler Alert

'I'm working on an upgrade of the computer, "Watson." I'll call it "Holmes".'

You can always tell a good book by its libel.

Stolen Crime Books.

"Watson - look! The Cheshire cat burglar!"

"I had no choice...The idiot was trying to tell me spoilers about the season finale of my favourite soap opera."

"It's a great film. It's quite sad though, they all die in the end!"

Online Dating For Dummies

I witnessed something I can never unsee. What happened, little buddy? Some guy walking out of the "Star Wars" premiere shouted spoilers to the crowd that was waiting to see the second show. A bunch of fans who were dressed in costumes got so angry they attacked him. I don't think I can ever unsee five Ewoks and a slave Leia beating a Wookie senseless with plastic light sabers. The Wookie had it coming.

'I choose not to read Revelations, too many spoilers.'

It's a dreadful affair, Watson. Flagrant failure to use the poopy bins.

'I'll take the case,' I said. Or did I? I fear I'm no longer able to differentiate between interior and exterior monologue.'

"You spoil that cat!"

"I really like the author's characterizations, and her dialog is witty and well paced. . . the ending threw me off though, I never would have guessed the killer was the stepson.£

"Do you want this with or without spoiler alerts?"

"I told you not to tell me how it ends!"

"Spoiler alert!"

"...I will save you ninnies hudreds of dollars by spoiling every single upcoming superhero movie..."

SPOILER ALERT! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about "Star Wars." You don't have to say "spoiler alert," minion. It's been a month. Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive. In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences. Um ... never mind.

"Since you're breaking up with me, I'm giving away the spoilers to that movie you wanted to see."

"I shouldn't be telling you, but the artist's real name is J. K. Rowling."

A Christmas Carl.

Dog spoiling book for cat